Complete with the authentic mouth guard, the Patrick Kane bobblehead.  Little Patty left Sunday’s game against the Lightning after suffering a cut above his left eye.  He scored a goal before leaving, and the Hawks took the game 4-0.

Patrick Kane and his dickhead cousin reached a plea deal today (read: they did it, all of it).  The Kane boys pleaded guilty to a non-criminal charge of disorderly conduct and have been ordered by the courts to issue a written apology to cab driver Jan Radecki.

A written apology, that’s it?  A superstar athlete that can’t handle his booze and ego roughs up a cab driver for 20 cents change and he doesn’t even have to acknowledge it in public.  Plaxico Burress shoots himself, not another human, in the leg and gets 2 years in prison on weapons charges and a written apology is all the courts could throw at pretty boy Patrick Kane.

I’m not an idiot, Plaxico Burress shouldn’t be walking around with a piece strapped next to his cock, but you can kind of see what I’m getting at here right?  The justice in swine, Kane is hardly being held responsible for his shithead actions.  The little fucker apologized to his family, the people of Buffalo, the fans, oh especially the fans, and the Chicago Blackhawks organization; would it be too much to ask him to address the victim in all of this?

“Obviously I want to apologize to my family, the city of Buffalo, my team, the whole Blackhawks organization, obviously all the fans out there, my fans especially, just for being in a regrettable situation,” Kane said. “But it’s behind me. It’s time to move on.”

I’m moving on too.

Changes In San Jose

After like, a career’s worth of playoff failures, Sharks’ head coach Todd McLellan is taking the captaincy away from Patrick Marleau.  Marleau, if you remember, fizzled under the tutelage of Ron Wilson and then re-emerged last season as a first-line winger.  Only to once again lead the team into another playoff disappointment.  (Hat-tip Puck Daddy)

Patrick Kane Apologizes For “Something”

I’m sure that money is going to make this thing go away before we ever hear the actual truth, but Patrick Kane is really sorry for all of the pain he has caused, except for that pain he inflicted on some cabbie’s face:

“Because I’ve put myself in being in the wrong position at the wrong time, I’ve caused a lot of pain for my family, my home town of Buffalo, the city of Chicago, the Chicago Blackhawks and obviously, the great fans we have here in Chicago. And for that part, I sincerely apologize.”  (TSN.ca)

No Captain For “Big Blue”

I really thought Brian Burke would be the guy who wouldn’t buy into all the history of the Toronto Maple Leafs hoopla.  Man, was I ever wrong… he loves this shit.  Once again, the Leafs are not good enough to have a captain.  (The Spin)

I Can’t Think Of A Better Place For Dany Heatley

My man Burgundy runs down the potential scenario of Dany Heatley being dealth to the Minnesota Wild.  Poor Dany would be all alone out there, with nobody to play with.  With Mikko Koivu and James Sheppard being the most likely line mates for Heatley, they’re also the most likely trade candidates coming back to Ottawa.  Karma dude, karma.

Down Goes Brown Has Great Spies

That crack team of spies over at DGB have done it again.  This time they’ve got the inside scoop on Team USA’s orientation camp.  (Down Goes Brown)

Anyone recall Dany Heatley’s quick brush with video game fame when he adourned the cover of NHL 2004 before being replaced by Joe Sakic?  EA Sports chose to replace Heater after he attempted to travel back in time in his Ferrari and ended up killing his Atlanta Thrashers’ teammate Dan Snyder.  Considering Patrick Kane’s act of incredible stupidity (robbing a cabbie), it wouldn’t be surprising to see him replaced as this year’s cover boy for NHL ’10.

Chicago Blackhawks right winger and South Buffalo native Patrick Kane and a relative face robbery and other charges after allegedly assaulting a cab driver and failing to pay their fare after getting a ride from Chippewa Street early this morning.

Check out the full story at TSN.ca if you haven’t already.  Here’s the kicker… their fare was $13.80 and the assault and robbery was over $1.20 change that the cab driver did not have on his person.  What?  No tip?

***Update*** (BuffaloNews.com has archived the original article, so I give you TSN.ca.  Reports now saying the dispute was over 20 cents change.  Whatever, Kane’s image is going to take a hit… cocky little fucker he is.)

Pogge Sent Packing

Tuukka Rask Justin Pogge was once the goaltender of the future for the Toronto Maple Leafs.  Pogge has reportedly been shipped to Anaheim for nothing (for now) where he’ll likely assume the role of number three on the depth chart.  My buddy Eyebleaf takes it easy on Pogge upon his departure, I’m not so sure I could have been so kind.

Speaking of the Toronto Maple Leafs, remember a few weeks back when I was championing the cause for the club to name a captain? It looks like Leafs’ Nation is on board, and they’re tired of watching a captain-less squad.  Maple Leafs Hot Stove has your nominees, I’m going with Komisarek.

Donald Brashear, Riley Cote, and Jeff Carter Hang With the Doggfather

Stick-taps to The700Level.com for the photo and story.