It was “Power Play” time at ESPN on Monday evening.  You know that that means?  Scott Burnside’s “meanderings”!  He wonders why a guy like Georges Laraque can still find NHL employment.  This was front page news for ESPN’s NHL department even before Laraque’s suspension was handed down.  I’m sure Burnside didn’t know who Georges Laraque was until Saturday night, when he stuck a knee out on Niklas Kronwall.

Laraque was suspended for five games by the NHL late Monday evening.  Scott Burnside is not going to like that.

I took a peek at Burnside’s “Power Play” on a whim Monday, normally I’d pass on such filth but I really had to see for myself what Scott Burnside was going to try and cook-up on Georges Laraque.  He made sure to start off by saying he’s a “good guy”, and then ostensibly answers his own question when referring to Laraques knee-on-knee hit from Saturday:

To what end is Laraque’s ice time at all valuable — ever? Needless to say, Detroit coach Mike Babcock was not impressed by the knee-on-knee hit and called it dirty. He was being charitable. The NHL’s Star Chamber style of discipline is on display once again; as of Monday, the league remains silent about supplementary discipline for Laraque. For the record, Laraque has one assist in 10 games and is averaging 7 minutes, 4 seconds a night in ice time. He’s making $1.5 million in the first year of a two-year, $3 million deal. Money well spent, no?

Burnside is correct in his criticism of the NHL’s style of discipline.  Someone is truly going to have to die in a hockey game before the league will start coming down on “the boys”.  He was kinda on track there for a little bit, but then he started with all this “for the record” shit.

Laraque is making $1.5 million this season, in the second year of a three-year $4.5 million deal.  Goddamn right that’s “money well spent”, his actual contract is way worse.

Great googly moogly!  ESPN can’t count.

Somebody, call the editor…

Burnside’s ignorance aside, there is a question that can be asked here.  Is there any use for Georges Laraque in Montreal?  The answer is mostly no, but it doesn’t mean he couldn’t find a suitable employer elsewhere.  At least part of the problem is that Georges Laraque can’t find anyone to fight him, he’s too tough.  Derek Boogaard called Laraque “freakishly” strong.  Boogaard is suffering similar problems in Minnesota, he can’t find anyone to fight either, nobody wants to.

Besides, Laraque’s deal isn’t even that bad.  His cap-hit is reasonable at $1.5 million, and he’s still got some value as a trade piece.  Boogaard is in the final year of his contract, making $1.25 million (nhlnumbers.com) and he could catch at least one more NHL contract if he gets moved or finds a few more willing opponents.  Of course, there’s always the option of playing for Brian Burke.

Both the Wild and Les Canadiens have bigger problems than worrying about their willfully low skilled enforcers’ lack of dance partners.  At least they swapped a couple parts that didn’t fit on Monday with Guillaume Latendresse leaving Montreal and Benoit Pouliot on his way from Minnesota.

Alright, let’s do this.  For old time’s sake:

Here’s a shot of Burnside’s piece as of 9:00 PM EST, just for posterity’s sake:

Anyone who envisioned Cristobal Huet backstopping the Blackhawks to a Stanley Cup must have forgotten that Huet’s favourite position is “chilling” on the bench with a ball cap.  Puck Daddy was almost on the money this morning:

More than a few pundits and fans that have Committed To the Indian this season have done so despite Huet, who has never won a playoff series and never served as a franchise’s clear-cut No. 1 starter without a David Aebischer or a Nikolai Khabibulin to do half of the season’s work. It’s all a bit like predicting “The Godfather Part III” would win Best Picture despite the presence of Sophia Coppola in the cast.

Aebischer and Khabibulin weren’t the only pieces of the equation to Huet’s run of being second best, though.  Carey Price was the reason why Huet was traded to the Washington Capitals from Montreal.

Price, the Saviour loves drinking, fighting, and smoking almost as much as I do.  I respect him for that, but his immediate future is bleak with the Habs’ banged-up blueline.

The Price Is Wrong

Unless you’re a real masochist, then you probably tuned out of last night’s Montreal Canadiens shellacking by the Vancouver Canucks shortly after the 2nd period began.  Poor Carey Price, somebody has to step in and quit letting him play in meaningful games and/or on nights when he has an emotional investment.  Unlike his visit to his home province last season, Price got the start in front of friends and family.  He looked like a sieve on a few of the seven Canucks’ goals, but also looked like the only Montreal player on the ice for most of the night.

Brian Burke Is Feeling Relieved, But Thinking About The Ones That Got Away

The Toronto Maple Leafs dodged some bullshit tampering charges from Mike Gillis and the Vancouver Canucks.  Ron Wilson was handed a fine as Brian Burke and his mouth avoided any serious trouble. Burke may have been serious in his pursuit of the Sedin twins, but the Bobbsey twins had little to no interest in reuniting with their North American dad as they re-signed with the Canucks before Burke even landed in Sweden.

Brent Johnson Robs Shane Doan

In light of no readily available video of Petr Prucha scoring while laying on his back last night, here’s Penguins’ backup Brent Johnson making a save he had no business making on Shane Doan.  The Coyotes shutout the Pens 3-0, I’ve said it before… the Yotes will make the playoffs.

Didn’t quite work out the way you imagined, did it Brian?

Thursday marks the start of the 2009-10 NHL season.  There’s really no better way to start the season than with a classic showdown between the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs.  Unless you live anywhere other than Montreal or Toronto, of course.

The original six rivals are both looking remodeled and remoulded after a busy offseason, and they share the same dreams of being competitive in the stacked Eastern Conference.  There probably won’t be enough room for both of these teams when playoff time rolls around, but it should be entertaining to watch both of them try and make it there.

Here are 10 bold, but not highly uneducated predictions for the Leafs and Habs:

1. Niklas Hagman will score 30 goals.

2. Brian Burke’s Leafs will play meaningful hockey in April, at the NCAA Division I Men’s Ice Hockey Tournament.

3. Leaf fans’ references to “truculence”, “belligerence”, and “pugnacity” will subside later this fall after Colton Orr, Garnet Exelby, Jay Rosehill, and Mike Komisarek can no longer take severe beatings at the hands of Georges Laraque, Ryan O’Byrne, Guillaume Latendresse, and Maxim Lapierre.

4. Early this winter, Canadiens fans’ will begin to litter online communities with their exclamations of their team’s “truculence”, “belligérance”, and “pugnacité”.

5. Vesa Toskala will secede from his role of number 1 goaltender for the Swedish “Monster”, Jonas Gustavsson.  For his encore, Gustavsson will attempt to avoid becoming the next Tommy Soderstrom.

Monster, showing off his mask and bod

6. Brian Gionta will score as many goals as Mikhail Grabovski and Phil Kessel combined.

7. Claims that the Canadiens are “smurfs” will grow old and irrelevant, as it should be noted that both Montreal and Toronto share the same average player height of just under 6’1″.  Check it out for yourself, do the math.  Smurfs were blue anyway, dip-shits.

8. Tomas Kaberle will be gone by the trade deadline.

9. Carey Price will falter out of the gate, regain his confidence and poise by mid-season, and then stand on his head and spit nickels out on his way to the playoffs.

10. These two teams will play some of the season’s best hockey against one another down the stretch,  when Montreal will put the proverbial nail in the coffin of Toronto’s playoff hopes.

I’ll be the first to admit that I spend way too much time dwelling on Carey Price’s choice of head attire.

If you really feel strongly that it’s super-cool to have Garth Brooks on a goalie mask, then we’re just never going to be friends.  Here’s a glimpse of Carey Price and his new mask for the 2009-10 season, I’m very pleased to say that I can now focus more energy on his play and love for the drink.

Maybe I’m in the minority on this, but I really believe that a Cammelleri-Gomez-Gionta line could do some serious damage with their speed and skill.  With his new bucket, I can even get behind a bounce back performance from Carey.  Unless of course, he’s got Garth hiding on the other side of the mask…

(ingoalmag.com for the photo)