Despite my juvenile Photoshop skills, I think you get the picture.  The Toronto Maple Leafs are pitiful, a team that has regressed rather than progressed under the management of Brian Burke.  Ron Wilson has been the target of blame for most mainstream media types, taking the brunt of criticism for the team’s horrible penalty kill and lack of defensive responsibility.  Some of that criticism is justified, Wilson appears to have lost whatever grip he had on this sad sack roster.  However, the man responsible for a large part of this inept squad continues to go unscathed despite his questionable personnel decisions.

As bad as they have been in recent years, it’s unlikely anyone would have predicted the Leafs would have been as awful as they are.  Am I wrong, or was part of Burke’s M.O. to rebuild this once proud franchise?  If that was the case, then their performance thus far in 2009-10 would be a little more acceptable as it would have produced a potential number one draft pick.  That’s not the case, as Boston is laughing their way to the entry draft after having once again fleeced the Leafs in a trade.  While Burke isn’t the man responsible for sending Tuukka Rask to Boston, he is the sole figure of blame for sending the team’s future to Boston for Phil Kessel.

The Toronto Maple Leafs are set to rid themselves of nearly $20 million in cap space at the end of the season, which is looking rather attractive at this point considering their immediate need to re-tool the roster.  Once again, they’re going to have to tear up the puzzle and put it back together again.  Perhaps if Burke had of kept his mouth shut and laid off the pre-season playoff predictions, then this wouldn’t come as such a surprise to Leafs Nation.  Instead, they’re left with a second tier star in Phil Kessel, an over abundance of defensemen, no first round draft choice until 2012, and a couple of sieves in goal.

It begs the question; what has Burke’s flurry of transactions done to improve the state of the franchise?  At this point, very little.  Sure Kessel might score 40 goals in a blue shirt, and that defense core could be pretty imposing if it got its shit together, but Toronto is a mess with no surefire clean-up in sight.  Are Burke’s hands tied with Ron Wilson not only being his friend, but also his coach for the American Olympic team?  Maybe, but that’s beside the point.  Brian Burke has done a terrible job in his first year as the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Maybe it’s time to stop pondering the potential of acquiring Ilya Kovalchuk and start demanding some accountability from the guy who should be held accountable.

Is it December 5th already?  It must be because Phil Kessel is making his long awaited debut for the blue and white tonight versus the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Kessel is a quick healer, apparently.  I’m choosing to believe that Brian Burke pulled a “Jedi mind trick” on Phil and the team doctors, but hey, the Leafs are must-watch TV for the first time since Eric Lindros made his Toronto debut.  I suppose this grand occasion will also mark the first time anyone has tuned into Rogers Sportsnet since the Toronto Blue Jays were 17-games above .500, as well.

Most reports have Kessel skating on a line with Matt Stajan and Jason Blake, whom he skated with during Tuesday morning’s practice.  They’re a far-cry from Marc Savard and Milan Lucic, although Stajan has made like four nice passes so far this season so he’s obviously their best bet as a playmaker for Burke’s adopted son.  Jason Blake has been lighting the lamp at a John Kordic-esque pace early this season so we’ll see what kind of chemistry develops from this trio.

To be honest with you, I really hope something good comes out of this.  As resistant a Leafs’ fan that I am, even I can’t take them being this shitty.  Not when I’m forced to struggle through their games 3-4 nights a week.  C’mon Phil, win the Cup for us.

The Price Is Wrong

Unless you’re a real masochist, then you probably tuned out of last night’s Montreal Canadiens shellacking by the Vancouver Canucks shortly after the 2nd period began.  Poor Carey Price, somebody has to step in and quit letting him play in meaningful games and/or on nights when he has an emotional investment.  Unlike his visit to his home province last season, Price got the start in front of friends and family.  He looked like a sieve on a few of the seven Canucks’ goals, but also looked like the only Montreal player on the ice for most of the night.

Brian Burke Is Feeling Relieved, But Thinking About The Ones That Got Away

The Toronto Maple Leafs dodged some bullshit tampering charges from Mike Gillis and the Vancouver Canucks.  Ron Wilson was handed a fine as Brian Burke and his mouth avoided any serious trouble. Burke may have been serious in his pursuit of the Sedin twins, but the Bobbsey twins had little to no interest in reuniting with their North American dad as they re-signed with the Canucks before Burke even landed in Sweden.

Brent Johnson Robs Shane Doan

In light of no readily available video of Petr Prucha scoring while laying on his back last night, here’s Penguins’ backup Brent Johnson making a save he had no business making on Shane Doan.  The Coyotes shutout the Pens 3-0, I’ve said it before… the Yotes will make the playoffs.

Brian hoped that a solid performance from his pet “Monster” would be enough for his Maple Leafs to earn their first victory of the season.  Jonas Gustavsson looked pretty good, save for committing himself way too early on a penalty shot by Daniel Alfredsson, but he wasn’t as sharp as “The Battle of Ontario’s” best new goalie Pascal Leclaire.

Brian is feeling ça va mal today.  The Ottawa Senators wouldn’t fight, his boys gave the puck away all night, and the Leafs still stand winless after three games.

Toronto has a few days off before the Pittsburgh Penguins pay a visit on Saturday night.

Look how proud dad is in this one:

Look at Phil, he’s adorable in his new garment:

In other news, Damien Cox is giving Brian Burke a full-hearted handjob in today’s Toronto Star.

Brian Burke finally added some offense to go along with all that truculence, belligerence, and those other couple of college words he likes to toss around.  Phil Kessel might not be the type of player that can turn the Maple Leafs’ fortunes around on his own, but he brings some youthful scoring ability to a team in need of goals.  Perfect he is not, but here’s five reasons why Phil Kessel will fit just fine in the bigger picture for Toronto:

1. Kessel has a history of not being very well liked by his teammates.  Rumours and old wives’ tales follow him back as far as his time with the U.S. National Under-18 Team.  That’s not going to matter a lick in Toronto, as there’s no way that he could be liked less than Jason Blake.

2. Brian Burke appeared to put the days of “draft schmaft” behind this franchise upon his arrival when he implemented his own “forwards bore-wards” scheme by signing every free-agent defenseman in the league.  Now he’s managed to trade away two first-round picks and a second-round pick for Kessel, thus bringing back the “draft schmaft” while addressing the holes up front.  This team could very well return to the glory years of losing in the Conference Finals by 2012.

3. Even if Kessel falls short of duplicating his impressive 2008-09 numbers, he can point to the fact that everyone scores less when they come to Toronto.

4. Regardless of how good those three draft picks turn out to be, they’ll never be as good as Scott Niedermayer or Roberto Luongo.

5. Kessel’s mere six hits in 70 games last year would still put him ahead of Jiri Tlusty who registered five in 14 games.