The 2010 Hockey Head Awards

The 1987-88 Detroit Red Wings Award (formerly Hookers and Blow award, formerly Probert and Kocur award):

Given to the player to register the most fighting majors for the season.  Other criteria for consideration include blood drawn, blood spilled, heads cracked, hands broken, and estimated number of opponents who may have shat their pants.

2010 Recipient:  Zenon Konopka.

The Peter Sidorkiewicz Trophy:

Awarded annually to the most mediocre goaltender forced into regular duty, although he has no business playing every day.

2010 Recipient:  Jeff Deslauriers

The Darcy Tucker Award:

Given to a player that registers a career-high in goals during a contract year in an effort to secure a big payday.

2010 Recipient:  Patrick Marleau

The Steve Downie Trophy:

Awarded annually to the player judged to be the biggest piece of shit by both players and fans.

2010 Recipient:  Steve Downie

The Harold Ballard Award:

Given to the executive that caused the most irreparable damage to his team by shortsighted transactions.

2010 Recipient:  Brian Burke

The Tom McVie Award:

Awarded annually to the coach that displays the most dysfunctional on-ice product.

2010 Recipient:  Rick Tocchet (ed. note; Rick is no longer a coach.)

The Todd Bertuzzi Trophy:

The Todd Bertuzzi trophy is given to a player that works the hardest to reinforce every ‘violence in hockey’ stereotype known.  Usually awarded to the player with the most attempt to injures, attempted murders, and sucker punches.  Previous winners include Scott Walker, Todd Bertuzzi, and Marty McSorely.

2010 Recipient:  Matt Cooke

The Chris Chelios Award:

Pretty self explanatory, but given to the NHL’s oldest player.  Should be no surprise here once again.

2010 Recipient:  Chris Chelios

The Mike Ricci Trophy:

Given to a player with the best mop on his head.

2010 Recipient:  Scott Hartnell