The Things Joe Sakic Didn’t Say Upon His Retirement

Joe Sakic was more than just an NHL great.  He was a classy individual, and he knew when it was time to hang up his skates despite the chance to represent his country in the Olympics one more time.  It’s that classiness that prevented him from saying some of the things he really, really wanted to say upon his exit from the game.  Don’t worry, we’re going to say it all for him.

“I’m still waiting for a thank-you from Ray Bourque for carrying his old wrinkled Boston ass to his only Stanley Cup.”

“I won two Stanley Cups with Colorado, and might have won a couple more had Nordiques’ GM Pierre Lacroix not traded Mats Sundin for Wendel Clark.”

“Mike Ricci is still the ugliest motherfucker to ever lace up a pair of blades.”

“I had a lot of success at the professional level, and in international play.  Have you guys seen my numbers from Junior, though?  I did all that playing with nothing but a bunch of dickheads.”

“Stephane Fiset was never much of an NHL goalie, but he sure did have the coolest mask for a 2-3 year period.”

“Some guys refer to the modern game as the “Dead Puck Era”, I call it that stretch of hockey where I did a fuck-ton of scoring.”

“I played hockey with Bryan Fogarty, but that’s all I did with him.”

“Most importantly, I have to thank Eric Lindros for refusing to come and play with me in Quebec.  Sure, he probably single-handedly sunk the Nordiques franchise, but me, Peter Forsberg, Ricci, Chris Simon, and the other boys we got for him sure had a real good time winning those two Stanley Cups.  Shit, Do you guys remember that we eventually got Jocelyn Thibault from the “Big E” trade?  Then we went and flipped him to Montreal for Patrick Roy… man, those were the days.”